Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Dolphin Riggs. I'm the founder and CEO of Hiking for Healing, and I'm here today with you with my friend and the funniest woman I know Karen Mills, who is a professional comedian and one of my friends, and I love her to death, so I hope you'll enjoy her as much as I do. Karen, I have been just amazed at how our life has overlapped and we never had a chance to really physically know each other until both of us ended up with cancer and other injuries and things and started talking back and forth. Can you briefly go ahead and share a little bit of your childhood perhaps, or experiences you want to introduce to our ladies that may be listening?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Sure. I grew up in Cleveland, Tennessee, of course, and played basketball. Well, I played sports from as the time I could walk. I think I was born with a ball in my hand. I said I shot out of the womb and a pair of Chuck Taylor's, I think, but I played softball, played with the Lady ACEs until I went to college. And then I ended up playing, switching to Fast Pitch and playing down here for several years. But my basketball career, I played for Jim Smitty at Bradley High School, and we had quite a run in 76 and 77, well, 75, 76, 77. We had a 90 game winning streak back to back the state and national champions. And then I went on to play at UT Chattanooga. And so sports defined my young life and young adult, my kid as a child and young adult life. And then after college, everyone thought I would coach, including me, but I did not love coaching as much as I love playing. And so I floundered for a few years. I actually got into the mortgage business and did that for about seven years. So I just want to say now that if anyone lost their house because of me, I'm truly sorry.
(02:18):
But then I finally started studying acting classes when I was at Bradley. My two favorite things were sports and drama. Connie Gatlin was my drama teacher at Bradley, and I loved her and loved that class, but I never had time to really pursue that because sports took up so much of my time. So then after college, I started studying acting again, and then every time I would see a comedian on Johnny Carson, I would think, I really think I could do that. And I finally got the courage to go to the punchline in Atlanta and get up for open mic night. And when I came off stage, the manager of the club said, you have the timing, you have the stage presence. I really think you could do this professionally, but you've got to learn how to write your own material. Because all I knew how to do was tell a joke, joke like one I'd heard. I didn't know how to take my life experience and turn it into humor. And so he recommended a writing class. I took it. I went back to the punchline a few months after that and got up again. And that time when I come off stage, he hired me to open. And so that's when it started. And so here I am now 31 years later from when that actually occurred and still going. And oddly enough, I am busier now than I have ever been in my career at my age. And so that is really surprising to me, but I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I think that kind of goes with retirement because I retired, having spent a really busy time thinking that I was going to have time to do things that I wanted to do. Well, I have time to do things that I want to do because I'm now busier doing those things than I was ever while I was in an actual job. So I understand exactly what you're saying and go all the way back to Jim Smitty. You all were playing for Jim Smitty or you were playing and I was getting beat up by Jim Smitty on the other pool, but I don't believe we were playing the same years when I played. It was back in the Gracie May and Sylvia Lauderdale automobile, whatever her last name was. So I think I was probably several years ahead of you on that.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I graduated in 77.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Okay. Yeah.
(04:43):
Now I really feel like a grandmother, and I was not totally aware that you had played softball, so I'm glad to hear that. I started softball at 10 years old and played fast pitch, and now it's slow pitch, but we're going to another Senior Olympics next week to play. So I'm going to miss seeing you there because I know that you played for Mary Tim. I did. And Tim was my buddies back in actually childhood when I was taking piano lessons from the same teacher that she was. And I believe she was 17 and I was around 10 or so, maybe a little bit older. And we were taken to a recital together. I was so impressed with this 17-year-old woman that was so nice to me. She was always so kind to this little kid that I remembered her name. It was an unusual name when I was a horticulturist, she came in unknowingly and bought some trees. She and Mary Jane, you would know you played with Mary Jane. So I said, I've only known one woman in my life who had the name Mary Tim. And we started talking about that and found out that we were the same two people.
(06:05):
So we have had so much interaction around us at the same time, the same areas as I grew up, probably 30 miles from you. But the universe supplies the right time to bring people together.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Your message of laughter is so healing. And as you know with hiking for healing, one of our most important things is laughter. And to allow that child to come out to come back out and play so many times you get a cancer or any diagnosis, that's such a shock. The child goes in and hides where it's supposed to feel safe within. And my job is to bring that out. And I want to thank you for the laughter you bring out. I can probably say that not any of my people that I'm around don't know who you are because I'll tell 'em first thing, you need to laugh, go and listen to Karen Mills.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, thank you for that. I appreciate that very much. But it has, when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 20, that was in 2013, and the first thing my doctor said to me is, I don't care who it is, get negative people out of your life so that you can heal. And he said that staying positive and finding humor was as important to my recovery as surgery and chemotherapy, which was the easy part for me because laughter is my coping skill. I mean, there are people that have really difficult time finding anything funny about cancer, but I can find humor in anything. Yes, you can. And I think if I think we fair so much better in life, if you can look for the levity in any situation,
(07:54):
And for me when I was going through chemo, some days are so hard, but I would put on a funny movie. I would put on friends, which I'm a huge friend, fan of the TV show, and I put on something that lived in my spirits and made me laugh. And you can't let yourself sit in that darkness too long. You've got to be proactive in pulling yourself out of it. That's right. And all of my friends that believed in my recovery and knew that I was going to come out of it, those are the people I wanted around me. And anyone who was doom and gloom, I just like, no, you can't be in my space right now. You have to be responsible for the energy you allow in, I think.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Very true, very true. And also, this is a little off subject here, but I found when I went back to work after my diagnosis that a lot of my coworkers didn't know how I felt about it. And here I am joking about it. And because you've got to bring the laughter that you're talking about in. And so I realized that it was my responsibility not theirs to understand and to be that part of the positive. So I'd go to 'em and say, look, guys, this is what happening. And Ethel and Hazel are getting ready to go. And they knew that as I was joking about it, telling the stories about how I jumped into the water in a class to learn how to coach swimming, and I had borrowed a swimming suit and it came off and one of the girls jumped out. And so here I am trying in front of the whole class to swim and get my bathing suit back on. So I would make them laugh and realize that I was okay with the diagnosis, that in my mind, what was the lemon was going to become and did become the best lemonade in the world. And so then it was okay for them to come and approach and be part of that positive.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yes,
Speaker 1 (10:00):
That making sense?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, of course. And it does, and people aren't going to come up to you and start joking about cancer if they're not sure you're okay with it. So it is up to you to let people know that you find humor in the situation and that you're open to laughter of any, I mean, I just can always find humor and that's where I want to, and that's why I started using that in my comedy show, talking about cancer. And I was a little nervous at first because I felt, is everyone going to receive that? But I had so many people thank me after the shows go, thank you so much for finding the humor and just talking about it and making it to light for people because everyone's been touched by it. Everybody, even if you haven't had it, you've known someone and a friend, a family member. So everyone's been touched by cancer. And so then I started being asked to do speaking events and did a Ted X talk called Cancer is a laughing matter. So it's not about cancer being funny, it's about how to manage life in a way that gives you the best opportunity to recover, to live a life that's full and open and fun. Because we're all going to, I think, live longer. Look at who's lived to be a hundred George Burns. I mean all the comedians, Betty White, all the people who live so long, most are comedians.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I mean, there's a laundry list of comedians who have lived well into their nineties and they found different everything. So you have to,
Speaker 1 (11:52):
And you used another word that I feel really high on, our criteria list of priorities, and that's the word believe. We have to believe in the positive. We can't just throw it out there and then go around talking negative because we're not actually believing what we're saying. And our mind hears that and our mind is materializing our thoughts. So we need to believe in that as well. We haven't talked about perseverance, but we have seen that persevering. We just have to keep going, keep step by step. And you've been a prime example of that as well. You've kept going. You've gone way through. Not only cancer, but that horrible automobile accident that you, I think we were both recovering about that same time from something nearly not nearly as traumatic as yours, but you're resilience and your perseverance is amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Well, thank you. But I've never seen it as an option not to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trying to, if I'm going to be alive on this earth, then I want to try to make it the best experience as possible. And if I'm just in a dark place all the time, I mean, you're not living. You're existing. So whatever happens, I have to try to find a way out of that. And that doesn't mean I don't manage pain. I do. I still have a lot of neck and back pain from my accident. It broke my neck, fractured my back, broke my sternum, broke my hand, and my ankle tore my knee. 12 staples in my head, punctured a lung. I mean, it was near fatal.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
It still was.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
And so I'm very blessed to be here. And so if I'm going to be blessed to be here, I'm going to be here. I'm not going to be existing somewhere. I want to participate in life and make my life the best it can be with these conditions, whatever that is. We're all blessed
Speaker 1 (13:59):
That you're here with us and you said something, again, you're causing me to react here. I have a theory and it's called the ING theory. We can be or we can be a being, we can be part of an act or we can act out so that the in theory that I have is the action being put on to whatever you say, try trying, overcome ing. But as long as you can put that ing on there and become part of that solution, you're still living. That's right. Just alive. It needs to be action word. Right. Do you have anything that you would like to share further in that same line?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Excuse me now, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
That's okay. I just thought maybe you were not finished with your thought then when I interrupted you.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh, no, no, no, no. And like I said, the car accident again, I've got 15 new minutes, 20 minutes on cancer of material. I had the car accident. I got another 15. I mean, I find humor wherever it is. It's just like it brought my sternum in three places. Well, your brain, when you break a bone, your brain sends calcium. And mine sent too much to my sternum,
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Which
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Is so typical of me. I overthink everything. So I'm sure I was going, I don't know. I'd rather send too much. It's not enough. I'm not sure I, so I sent so much that if you cut a baseball in half and laid it on my chest, that's what I have is the calcium deposit on my sternum. Now. I have three lovely lady lumps, but, but they say I can have it removed, but I don't want to go through surgery for it. It's just a battle scar is how I see it at this point. But there's humor and anything and everything. A lot of times I'll get comments online on some of my clips and say, that's not funny. And I'm like, well, maybe it's not funny to you, but it's funny to me. And that's what I was given, is the gift of humor. And if I find humor in it, I can. It's okay. I don't need your permission to share my thoughts.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's true. I think it was Norman Cousins that started the life or the Laughter therapy and wrote a book about life therapy. And that's so important that he sat, he went into a hotel room and just sat there and watched a lot of the old talk. Well old TV movies, silent movies, and laughed and laughed. I think they finally ended up kicking him out of the hotel from laughing so much. But it's so true. It changes the body chemistry, the chemistry in your body, and it's just, it's got to happen. And if you don't mind, would you humor an old lady and do just a few seconds of a few minutes of nail? This is Karen's signature. She says, I love this and I can just not even imagine how you get through this. But I laugh every time I even think about it.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, it's an old bit. And I had stopped doing it because I thought, that's done, that's had its shelf life and I need to move on beyond it. Well then if I didn't do it, it shows. I mean, I was in Birmingham, Alabama, and I was accosted in the parking lot with a woman who said, I brought 15 people to here you do now, and you didn't do it. So there I am doing it in the parking lot for them, and it is my most requested bit. And anytime I have enough time on stage, like when I tour with Leanne Morgan and when I'm with Leanne, I'm only doing 20, 25 minutes. So I don't have time to do it. But when I'm doing my headlining show, I always include it for that reason. But no, it's the movie Nell with Jodi Foster. I loved the movie and thought she gave an incredible performance, but even more impressive than her performance was how Liam Neeson, who played her doctor, how he was able to learn her language. And in the final scene, he translates for the court what Nell is saying. So ne approaches the bench bow.
(18:32):
Lord Tata ne said that since her mother's demise, she has been frightened. I'm like, okay, bye. So Tata, I delay and a kind Lord heal my sky on a kay. She said that we as a people are universally fearful, but the Lord alleviates the source of our despair. All I know is that if you ever get stopped for DUI, this is the guy you want to speak for you. It's a fun bit. I enjoy doing it. Sometimes you write material and it's funny and it works, but there are certain times you have bits that you just love to do. And that's one of those that I just get a kick out of doing still. And like I said, it's my most requested bit. It goes on and there's more to it, but
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Well, it is totally priceless, and I love your expressions and your delivery. Your timing is impeccable. Anyway, thank you. But it is just wonderful. So I am so glad that we've had this time together, and I certainly want us to get together again and both on the podcast and maybe in person with hiking for healing. We'd love to have it and love to spend the time with you personally.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
That'd be great. I'd love it.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Okay. Well, thank you so much and I love you, my friend, and I hope to see you again Ri real soon. Thank you again.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I love you too. Thank you for having me.
